kayla | 19 | God is a woman | B99, The Good Place, Marvel
Violet Beauregarde should‘ve won Wonka’s chocolate factory

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Have I watched the movie in the last decade or more? No.
Do I have iron clad evidence to support my argument? Yes.

1. She’s the most knowledgeable about candy. She’s committed to it, and knows her stuff. When Wonka holds up a little yellow piece across the room, she recognizes it immediately. She was able to switch to candy bars for the sake of the contest, so we know she has personal discipline and is goal oriented. Also, two major projects play directly into her strong suits: the 3-course-meal gum that Wonka failed to make safe (gum) and the neverending gobstopper (longevity).

2. She’s the most fit to run a business. Violet is competitive, determined, hard working, and willing to take risks. Her father is a small town car salesman and politician, so she could easily pick up knowledge and support from him. (Veruca’s dad is also a business man, and in a compatible market (nuts), but it’s made very clear that Veruca has no respect or knowledge of business practices or hard work.)

3. She’s the most sympathetic to the Oompa Loompas. She critiques Veruca when Veruca demands to buy one. More importantly, Wonka has been testing the 3-course-meal gum that ‘always goes wrong’ on Oompa Loompas while he presumably just watches. Violet is ready to put herself on the front line, instead of treating the Oompa Loompas as disposable, and would therefore be a better boss.

4. Her personality ‘flaw’ is the most fitting for the company. In the moralizing Oompa Loompa song, they just say ‘gum is pretty cool, but it’s not socially acceptable to chew it all day‘. The thing is, we already know that she can stop if she wants, because she already did that to win the golden ticket. And yeah, she is defensive about the perceived impoliteness of her hobby (like when her mother tries to shame her about her habit during a televised interview) but the obsession with candy and neglect of social norms is EXACTLY what Wonka is all about. This is on brand.

5. Her misstep in the factory is reasonable. Wonka shows everyone a candy he’s very proud of. Violet is like “oh sick, that’s gum, my special interest.” Wonka is then pulls a “WRONG! It’s amazing gum!” So in the very moments before she takes the gum Wonka has mislead her just to belittle her. So when he’s like “I wouldn’t do that” why should she give a shit what he has to say? She’s not like Charlie over here who’s all “Sure Gramps, let’s stay behind while the tour leaves and secretly drink this thing that has been explicitly stated to fill you with gas and is too powerful for safe consumption, oh and also I just saw what happened to Violet so I actually KNOW what this stuff can be capable of” Also, Violet is not selfish about her experience, she tells everyone what she’s tasting and feeling, and everyone is eager to hear it. Taking a personal risk to share knowledge with everyone. Violet is Prometheus: fact.

So Augustus contaminates the chocolate river. Charlie sneaks around and contaminates the vent walls. Veruca destroys and disrupts the workspace. Mike knows exactly what will happen to him and transports/shrinks himself deliberately. Violet had no idea what the gum could potentially do to her, and caused no harm to anyone or anything but herself.

Lastly: Can you imagine Charlie filling Wonka’s shoes? That passive, naive boy? Violet is already basically Wonka. She’s passionate, sarcastic, candy-obsessed, free thinking, and a total firecracker. She’s even better than Wonka, because she doesn’t endanger others.

Violet should’ve been picked to inherit the chocolate factory.

Me 3 minute ago:

Me now:

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HIS HAIR?

nflstreet

WACK

HIS GEAR??

nflstreet

WACK

HIS JEWELRY???

nflstreet

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HIS FOOTSTANCE!?

nflstreet

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THE WAY THAT HE TALKS!??

nflstreet

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THE WAY THAT HE DOESNT EVEN LIKE TO SMILE!?!?

nflstreet

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nflstreet

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naturalistamisslyn

I’m impressed by how aggressive the font is

Hey Baby, you know it’s funny. Even though I heard it so many times in the court case, I still can’t get used to the fact that your real name is Miles. It’s a cool name though. I can think of a lot of great Miles songs. But we still have to get through all those Baby songs first. I can’t wait until the day when it’s just us, music and the road. See you later Baby. All my love, Debora. 

Lily James as Debora in Baby Driver (2017) dir. Edgar Wright

kitfisto

sandy cheeks would’ve voted trump that evil southern rat ass bitch

Sandy Cheeks is a pro-science feminist who lives in a foreign land that she respects the customs of and she would be offended you would even accuse her of this.

mr krabs would’ve voted trump

Mr Krabs absolutely would’ve voted trump.

Mr. Krabs would not have voted for Trump because Mr. Krabs earned most of his money through hard work (and being a cheapskate and get rich quick schemes but those still require some effort on his part) whereas Trump inherited most of his wealth and thinks a million dollars is a small loan, Mr. Krabs would consider him an insult to richness for which he could not stand.

Plankton would’ve voted Trump.

You think he needs competition taking over the world? Face it folks. No one on Spongebob would vote for Trump. None of them. Face it.

Bubble Bass

Shit. Dammit. Goddammit. Shit. God. Dammit. Fuck.

Squilliam Fancyson would vote for Trump

okay im just gonna put down my things here

- Plankton would not want competition, he would not vote for him

- Krabs would never respect a guy who bankrupted himself four times, he would not vote for him

- Sandy Cheeks is an independent scientist receiving grants from academies to further her research in foreign lands, so she would never vote for him.  Also, she would never respect a man who made such sexist comments since Spongebob did that once (to motivate his pet snail like a traditional sports coach) and she kicked HIS ass over a fucking field.

- Patrick can’t spell so he couldn’t vote for anyone

- Spongebob is too nice and would never vote for anyone who used such inappropriate “bad words” during their campaign.

- Squidward is too lazy and defeatist to even vote because he thinks there would be no point.

- Pearl is a teenager and therefore too young to vote

- Larry Lobster is a trained medic and custodian and would not vote for anyone that crippled such services.

- Bubble Bass WOULD vote for him because Bass is an arrogant self-entitled prick who enjoys deceiving others just for the sake of humiliating them, and would approve of such a person.

- Squilliam Fancyson would also vote for him because he’s a wealthy narcissist.

- Mrs. Puff has a criminal record and is therefore not eligible to vote.

the appeal of buzzfeed unsolved is that it’s not just a wacky believer and a strait-laced skeptic bc the skeptic is much weirder as a person than the believer. obviously the classic scully/mulder dynamic is very entertaining but there’s just something about a man who firmly does not believe in ghosts but does believe that it’s ok to eat a pickle floating in a pond “if it’s fresh”

Aphrodite loves trans men, trans women, and nonbinary people pass it on

so uh

i just discovered a youtube channel that does entirely live action remakes of spongebob episodes to get around the fact that you cant post the actual episodes

and theres actually a lot of effort put into this?????

babyboodle

Notable addition:

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Once again, my life has meaning

the fact that amy adams didn’t win for sharp objects makes my blood fucking boil she is the most underrated actesss of our generation and this is legitimately her best role to date and the fact that once again she has been overlooked is unforgivable AND she has just as many oscar nominations as leonardo decaprio and there was a whole ass movement about giving him an oscar bc he had been nominated so many times. where is that kind of passion for miss adams???? and on top of that she’s gotten as many nominations as he has in a shorter period of time. we need more love and respect and recognition for amy adams this is the hill i will die on

Janelle Monáe attends the 76th Annual Golden Globe Awards on January 6, 2019.

peterkpopkin

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this fucking tea